President Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. "Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Bubba, down here at Mee-Maw's Catfish Shack, in Prattville, and I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!" "Well Bubba", the President replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Bubba, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!" There was a moment's silence as President Obama considered his next words. He said, gently, "I must tell you Bubba that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command. Is your decision a wise one?" "Wow," said Bubba. "I'll have to call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Bubba called again. “Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Bubba?" Obama asked, curious about where this was going. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s grand daddy's farm tractor." President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Bubba, that I have 16,000 tanks and14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." "Lord above", said Bubba, "I'll be getting back at ya." Sure enough, Bubba called again the next day. “Mr. President! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war." "I'm sorry to hear that" said Obama. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well, sir," said Bubba, "we've all set ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed that many prisoners."
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